Sunday, 20 July 2014

Welcome Home!

Well, well, well, friends (and family? Yeah right! They don't even read this, hahaha!), I've officially landed back on Canadian soil. I've been back home since the end of May. "Home" (as a metaphor) has become transient to me. My actual physical home (a flat/apartment in London, Ontario, Canada), is less so. My family has lived in the same complex for 28 years. As I've wandered to and fro, I've always come back to our safe, relatively quiet and beautiful nook in the city. I love the trees (coniferous and deciduous) that envelope the buildings. I love that my childhood literally happened outside my front door. However, I detest that it encapsulates many memories of my mother. Similarly, I loathe that it's the place where Habibi sang Melhem Zein's "La Tcheki Fiyi" to me when we were dating. I hate the memories that haunt my 28-year-old home.

Coming home to Canada has become painfully difficult because I'm slowly discovering that it's not where I want to call home and the thought scares me. Where else could I possibly call home??? Ironic isn't it, coming from me who calls every place she's lived "home"? My home is a little flat in Ōta-shi, Gunma-ken where stray cats would hang out. It's a basement apartment on the perimeter of Victoria (British Columbia, Canada), oh, so close to wild blackberry bushes. It's even a beautiful apartment on Capitol Hill that has stunning baby pink and dark purple poppies growing in the front garden. Shockingly, it's even the flat in Mahboula that housed my first two awesome roommates!!!

"Home" will be temporary now. It can't be one single location and this fear of calling only one place home was one of the reasons I, once upon a time, walked away from having a relationship with a wonderful man. His home could never be mine, and as much as I cared for him, I knew it would cause more heartache than he deserved. This halfie won't remain in Canada forever.

So, as you may have noticed, I changed the title of the blog. The old title no longer held any truth. I will still blog about food (as often as I can, in fact!), and I will be giving an account of my business journey!!! I have started not one, but TWO businesses! Yes, I like to bite off more than I can chew, hahaha! I will unveil them in the next post or two. For now, I want to say, "Hello, Canada!" It's been good to be back home in spite of the stress and unwelcome memories. At this point, my friends and family have been the BEST welcome home present! I went to Ottawa and to my family's cottage on Little Crotch Lake again during Canada day long weekend (and for the remainder of the week and following weekend). I reunited with an old colleague from UVic and it was so uplifting! Ted Hughes' #1 fan is such an amazing person and we chatted for hours! I didn't want to say "good-bye". I've missed his wittiness, his brilliance and why I loved him so much. Dear Ted Hughes' #1 fan, thank you very much for taking the time to meet me. Please thank your gf for letting me steal for as long as I did! Can't wait to see you again!

Oh, Canada, my home and native land, you are home to so many incredible people in my life...And for now, you are my home, sweet home.

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