I used to be one of those people who couldn't keep a secret. I think I inherited that quality from my mother, hahaha! However, that has changed. I open up about bits and pieces to only a few people-a few family members and only my most trusted friends. Sometimes I worry though that I've gone too far to the other side by not opening up enough. For example, I couldn't bear telling my father and my extended family that I'd left my "prestigious," high-paying job in Kuwait, but I've come to terms with the fact that I was working in such a toxic environment that I probably would've gotten very ill-more ill than I'd already gotten.
I won't slander the company I used to work for because I'm not that kind of person. Besides, regardless of what kind of place it is, they gave me an opportunity that I've only dreamed about my whole life. Since I was a young girl I've been fascinated with the Middle East and I always dreamed that one day I would get to visit. I did better than that though and I lived there. I will always be grateful to the company for that. I loved my colleagues and my kiddles (my pet name for my students), but that's it. The school is extremely unprofessional and it only takes a quick search on Google to see that I was not the only one who had problems with the establishment. I hoped (rather than believed) that the school's affiliation with, a very well respected post-secondary institution in the U.S., meant that it would uphold the same principles and values. It does not and I now do give any credit to the American university.
On New Year's Eve I was teaching until 8pm. I felt a bit out of sorts, but continued teaching. My girls kept asking me if I was okay and said I looked white (their word for pale?). I dismissed it and once class was over I realized how hot I was. I was sweating like crazy and thought that my blood sugar level must be low (I have hypoglycaemia). I went to leave the class and fell. My legs went from right under me. I picked myself up and somehow walked back to my office. That afternoon people had brought in food, so I grabbed a sweet on my way out of the school and hoped it would do the trick. However, by the time I got home I was worse. I was completely disoriented and dizzy. I don't know what happened after that except that I blacked out and woke up on my bed hours later. I apparently texted the Irish chef some kind of New Year's greeting (I did what???). I woke up scared and feeling disgusting. That moment was when I realized that working the long hours that I did, teaching the long hours that I did, non-stop for the past four months in the conditions that I did, was negatively affecting me. I drafted my resignation letter (something I had wanted to do for a very long time but couldn't bring myself to do for many reasons), submitted it and didn't look back.
I'm still torn about my decision and melancholy is a characteristic I would use to describe myself right now. I know that leaving was necessary, but I fell in love with Kuwait and absolutely LOVE my colleagues and my kiddles! In fact, I'm going to plan a trip to see the Turks in Turkey this summer!!! Some of my students may even visit me in Canada; my kiddles and I, and my colleagues and I chat using Whatsapp all the time! I am so glad that I went to Kuwait, and as I embark on searching for a new job, which should really be called "Hell on Earth," I will absolutely be looking for a new job in Kuwait (I'll be looking for a position in Canada, too!). Feeling unhappy about leaving Kuwait was why I took a short hiatus from blogging; I'm sorry. I didn't want to talk about it. So, until further notice, I am in Canada and will continue to blog because between the food and my awesome friends here, I won't be short of adventures-although they may only be itty bitty ones!